Reporter: Bill Clinton's Dog had a heart surgery done today..
The entire country (The US of course.. Who else could do somethin like this?) seems to have gathered outside the hospital to show their support...
Its a spectacle to watch.. We have a supporter here waiting to talk to us.. Let's get a word from her..
Reporter: So how have things been?? Had breakfast??
Supporter: Bow wow.. Bow bow bow..
Reporter : That was Julia from New York...
With camera person Ramprashanth [;)], Nidheesha for Sidelines Today.. Over to you Sandhya
Anchor (Sandhya): Thank you Nidhi... That was the breaking news coming from New York.. We'll be following that story all day for you... We'll slip into a small break now.. (Touch up time!!)
That's a news channel stereo-type... I watch these channels especially for the Sandhya(s) and Nidheesha(s) who make the news footage a pleasantry to watch, no matter what they report on... I don't quite get the content though... err.. excuse me... do they even have content?? Or is it just gas most of the time?? Look deeper... Wait a minute.. Mom's come.. Channel changed
FTV Exclusive (It expands as Future Television and it's a news channel for God's sake!!)
Anchor(Some guy...!! Who cares??): Famous actor XYZ is arrested by police for assault on a co-passenger who allegedly ate up the Vada Pav [:P] which was served exclusively for him in the flight (I totally empathise.. That was quite a violation of human rights.. I meant, by the one who ate it up )... He will be presented before the magistrate.. blah blah blah(over the top).. Stay with us as we analyse this story for you with our expert panelists after the break.. This is an FTV exclusive...
Among the panelists was Mr. Kishore who studied with XYZ in his 1st standard..
Kishore: I know him very well.. He has attacked me on my nose for a piece of butter biscuit I took from him during out interval period.. He is a very bad boy.. He would have done it.. He should be hung to death (Now that was quite a verdict!!.. Son.. You are not in Riyadh)
Dad's come... "Hi Appa... Ok.. I'll go and study in fifteen mins"... He dumps his laptop on the sofa.. Clutches the remote..Channel Changed...
Profit and Loss TV
Anchor:
The Markets seem to be oversold (*OMG!! I have already lost my 2 months' grocery*),
However, the sugar stocks are expected to recover sooner than the others(*Holy Mother!!..How i wish they actually do... I am long on those * [:P])..
A Bull run is highly unlikely in the coming few weeks (All those buggers who haven't sold yet are SO SO DEAD!!)
However the markets look bullish in the long run (*you guys bloody well start buying.. I am lookin at offloading mine*)
In a fundamentally strong market like India, both "Bulls" and "Bears" make money.. Its only the "greedy pigs" who burn their fingers (*Bull crap!!.. Air the ad man.. I have run outa script*)
Dad gets bugged.. "Seri da.. Indha.. Jetix podu..." (Ok... change to Jetix.. [:P])
KEY
(In case am too smart for ya [:P])
- Within(*... *): The Anchor's thinking
- Within(....) : My Comments
I completely concur. The CNN that is played endlessly on my trading floor comes up with the most absurd, completely non-newsworthy stuff. Added to that is the sequels, prequels and various dubious experts on the subject. The whole caboodle is beginning to resemble the Russian circus. Of course, there are some small segments that are good. But it is so difficult to separate the chaff from the grain.
ReplyDeleteHm... I knew u love spending time in front of the TV....:-) Din expect that u wld actually write abt it.... Well its true that many times petty things r blown out of proportion.I have actually tht "Oh! I never knew this was so important...." Still for them wats "hot" sells....
ReplyDeletewowie!! Ram, u r too good with ur flow.. trust me, i wasnt readin, but was watchin the channels pass by!! hurray tats a victory for u!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThanks Soundarya.. Thats quite a compliment :) Means a lot to me
ReplyDeleteLol.. absolutely hilarious, really enjoyed reading this blog of urs..waiting for more. creative and typical prashanth in every bit(who else wil accept the truth as to y they SEE news reports :P )
ReplyDeletewell..what u said was absolutely true.. all petty things do make news these days.
(Who wants to know abt 'some dog' but if its THE president's dog its a whole different story..This info wud fetch votes from dog lovers wudn it?! "ohh the president's kind towards animals how noble" publicity in short).. :D..
Hilarious and absolutely Ramp style...in fact while readin this i could actually picture you standing right in front of me n narrating d whole stuff...i mean wit all ur actions n stuff..d way i feel..i think its only gettin better n forward march is the way to go..n u did show ur too well versed wit the stk markets wit d long n short of it : P good show..probably u should take over Cyrus Broacha's show..good one bro
ReplyDeleteHey Prea.. Thanx a tonne.. I totally empathise with the CNN Dumb Show.. We have the Indianized versions of those here.. Invest in this.. Invest in that.. and am ruined.. And the Russian Circus.. lol.. Indeed it does resemble :)
ReplyDeleteAnd Priya.. True.. I thought I should write it up.. Cus ppl'll be able to relate to this...
ReplyDeleteThanks Aishu and Nash.. Keep the comments coming.. They mean a lot to me..
ReplyDeleteinteresting topic dude...if u notice ppl in the west are far more sentimental than our mega serial clan...they cry and get emotionally charged for the most insignificant things (presidents dog, wwe, award functions, talent hunt and what not)
ReplyDeleteHT is no less....they once even aired a condolence show for Aarushi(murder case)where ppl can call HT and express their condolence on the birthday of a dead girl....ingenious
"All those buggers who haven't sold are SO SO DEAD " .. ROFL toogood da .. you're becoming a pro and yeah these days news reporters have become awesome drama queens !! hahah
ReplyDeleteGr8 show..I could like picture the stuf str8 of Cyrus Broacha s show :):):):) Cool going bro :):):):) I agree with the part of watching the news for nideesha n stuff that s y i watch Headlines Today :P:P Ur goin too good :):) Sorry took a little time b4 puttin my comment :):)
ReplyDeleteGood work da
ReplyDeleteShiva
http://shivareflects.wordpress.com
LOL! there's this cute anchor on BBC. Don't know his name cos I can't get myself to stop oggling!
ReplyDeleteI vaguely remember a news item about Johny Depp and his son's nanny which became an issue that was discussed for over 2 days on BBC! wow!
Kudos agaiN!