Friday, December 3, 2010

We're still too young!!

It’s a lovely, breezy morning in Sydney and the bell rings for the first hour… Trrrringggg…. A bunch of 11th grades rush into class and dump their i-pods and smart phones into their bags and get to their desks… Suzanne Bichel, an elegant woman in her 30 something, clad in corporate skirt walks in with her I-Pad... Whoa!! Not quite… Wait… Let’s Indianise it… It’s a hot and humid morning in Chennai with “children” of 11th standard running into their classes after assembly to put the papers in which they’ve their “cow bull” scores back into their bags. “Mrs. Rajarajeshwari Miss”, a 40 something woman clad in a cotton sari enters the class with a piece of chalk and attendance register. “Ok students, I don’t waant to take class today… Let us introduce avarselves first and” blah blah “and what your respective fathers do”… As the buck gets passed, Sunny gets his turn. He looks hesitant and stutters when he tries to say what his father does. He finally says he’s not too sure what his father is doing. Sounds a bit weird, but the teacher catches it and goes ahead with the next student.

Drawing a parallel to that horrendously drawn up scene above, most of us Indians have always acted like kids who’re not proud of their dads just ‘cause they aren’t well to do. They expect their peers to stamp their parents as fabulous, just the way we crave for western recognition. We acknowledge our prowess only if west calls it an asset.

Many Indians used to introduce themselves as Asians abroad, especially to American and Brit co-workers. In that sense, the British imperial intentions still reign. I believe I don’t have to quote source to reiterate the true intentions of Lord (Yeah Right!!) Thomas Babbington Macaulay, the first Law member of the Governor-General's Legislature, in introducing English education in India. He teamed up with Max Muller to propound the Aryan theory and fool the world (which sadly includes India too) that the Vedas were written by Aryans who according to that theory were Barbarians. This way, the feudal league tried to tarnish the self esteem of Indians and got English education introduced in our country.

But Macaulay, not even in the wackiest of his dreams would have ever imagined that Indians would use English to turn the financial demographics of the world. We’ve pulled it off from nowhere. From a state of economic emergency (if I may call it that), facing forex crisis which left India with forex inadequate to even meet 3 weeks commitments in 1991, to a country running for economic super-powerdom now. We’ve grown in a dizzying pace. It is this rapidity in the Indian growth story that, apart from strengthening its credentials has also invited a lot of cynicism and skepticism. Though there are some genuinely concerned thinkers who flag valid points which could be put to constructive use, most of the others are mere wannabes with baseless and unrealistic claims.

Even a country like Vatican City which is a sovereign city- state located within Rome having a population of 826 individuals, will have skeptics who always wear the “black hat”. Given that India has almost 1.5 million times the population of Vatican City, we definitely are going to have galore and galore of self-negators. It’s always better to take a rain check when we come across write ups and statements that put India down very badly calling metrics like forecasted future growth as a mere spreadsheet gimmick or our success story as a mere offshoot of west’s financial catastrophe.

These are mostly based on comparisons drawn with countries like The USA or The UK which have never been colonised or been independent for almost 250 years. There are also some funny critiques that loosely compare India to fragile countries like South Korea which will catch cold if USA eats ice cream. A comparison with China is again highly subjective as there are just as many grounds on which China can be made to look like a “crippled concentration camp survivor” in front of India, as there are, to belittle India before China. We are way too young a country to fret over not being the way most of the developed countries (yeah those guys still call themselves that!!).

I am saying nothing, anywhere close to, defending the mindless corruption or the deaf ear the government turns to the woes of the poor. These are all irregularities in the machinery and will eventually get corrected as India, as a country moves forward. All the development we’ve seen is despite these monstrous parasitic crooks sitting at every limb of our country. India can’t help but unshackle herself in due course and march forward in the clearly visible years of glory that are inevitable.



Wednesday, February 17, 2010

North East West South

Reporter: Bill Clinton's Dog had a heart surgery done today..
The entire country (The US of course.. Who else could do somethin like this?) seems to have gathered outside the hospital to show their support...
Its a spectacle to watch.. We have a supporter here waiting to talk to us.. Let's get a word from her..

Reporter: So how have things been?? Had breakfast??

Supporter: Bow wow.. Bow bow bow..

Reporter : That was Julia from New York...
With camera person Ramprashanth [;)], Nidheesha for Sidelines Today.. Over to you Sandhya

Anchor (Sandhya): Thank you Nidhi...
That was the breaking news coming from New York.. We'll be following that story all day for you... We'll slip into a small break now.. (Touch up time!!)

That's a news channel stereo-type... I watch these channels especially for the Sandhya(s) and Nidheesha(s) who make the news footage a pleasantry to watch, no matter what they report on... I don't quite get the content though... err.. excuse me... do they even have content?? Or is it just gas most of the time?? Look deeper... Wait a minute.. Mom's come.. Channel changed

FTV Exclusive (It expands as Future Television and it's a news channel for God's sake!!)

Anchor(Some guy...!! Who cares??): Famous actor XYZ is arrested by police for assault on a co-passenger who allegedly ate up the Vada Pav [:P] which was served exclusively for him in the flight (I totally empathise.. That was quite a violation of human rights.. I meant, by the one who ate it up )... He will be presented before the magistrate.. blah blah blah(over the top).. Stay with us as we analyse this story for you with our expert panelists after the break.. This is an FTV exclusive...

Among the panelists was Mr. Kishore who studied with XYZ in his 1st standard..

Kishore: I know him very well.. He has attacked me on my nose for a piece of butter biscuit I took from him during out interval period.. He is a very bad boy.. He would have done it.. He should be hung to death (Now that was quite a verdict!!.. Son.. You are not in Riyadh)

Dad's come... "Hi Appa... Ok.. I'll go and study in fifteen mins"... He dumps his laptop on the sofa.. Clutches the remote..Channel Changed...

Profit and Loss TV

Anchor:

The Markets seem to be oversold (*OMG!! I have already lost my 2 months' grocery*),

However, the sugar stocks are expected to recover sooner than the others(*Holy Mother!!..How i wish they actually do... I am long on those * [:P])..

A Bull run is highly unlikely in the coming few weeks (All those buggers who haven't sold yet are SO SO DEAD!!)

However the markets look bullish in the long run (*you guys bloody well start buying.. I am lookin at offloading mine*)

In a fundamentally strong market like India, both "Bulls" and "Bears" make money.. Its only the "greedy pigs" who burn their fingers (*Bull crap!!.. Air the ad man.. I have run outa script*)

Dad gets bugged.. "Seri da.. Indha.. Jetix podu..." (Ok... change to Jetix.. [:P])

KEY

(In case am too smart for ya [:P])

  1. Within(*... *): The Anchor's thinking
  2. Within(....) : My Comments

Friday, February 12, 2010

Myths of CA unravelled

First of all... I am a student myself and I ain't taking any sides here. The students who take this monstrous examination( call it CA final, inter, whatever...) carry with them more myths than materials ( sorry if it sounds like an article in "Hindu".. didn't know how else to start)

Ram comes home saying "mom.. the insti has screwed us this time.. They have deliberately made the November paper difficult"... Yeah right!! Get a life.. May could've been no better.. Does the insti even know how to set an easy paper?? Ask Bhim who wrote in May.. He wrote again with you in November( :P) ....

The next really strong deep routed superstition is that, the pass percentages are rigged.. They are rigged indeed.. But in the favor of us (students I mean) A very reliable source revealed that the insti doesn't resort to deliberate chopping of pass percentage and in fact pushes even border marks to a pass... Well.. It kinda does... (dude.. Cut the smirk... but yeah!! I can empathise)

The next stop is "Cost Accounting"... Most students including me, feel costing papers are set as 4 hours papers (4 hours to complete it, for the paper setter I mean.. Ridiculous ain't it??) and you have done remarkably well if you have been able to kiss 80% of the paper... The only problem with Costing papers is that they contain huge questions.. Had you spent a few hours reading Sidney Sheldon or even Chetan Bhagat... Trust me.. Costing could've been easier(My Reliable Source said this)...

Somewhere deep down even I have a fear that some insti official could run into this blog and misconceive this to be something critical about the insti and take it out on my paper :P... Yeah.. I know am being way too confident about the readership for this dumb blog of mine.. The belief that the insti could spank you for even a small spat with the receptionist by feasting on your marks is absolute humbug.. The system for correction is said to be fool proof... No valuer knows whose paper is being corrected.. The fact is that all papers are given dummy numbers... Mixed and sent to different pockets of the country where Intellectuals, who can advice Obama on US recovery correct the papers...

Those were some of the common arguments a CA student places before anyone who confronts him with a (Machan... What happened to the results da??).. I, just like every CA student who's struck hard by a failure find solace in such arguments... But a premier institute like ours who talks professionalism 24X7 would do any of these?? Ask yourself

You guys might like this or despise this... Even find my writing intolerable.. (I ain't Salman Rushdie after all).. But trust you could all relate to this.. Todally....

Friday, February 20, 2009

Hey everyone.. This is my first blog.. Am a really late entrant.. Am doin this at Zee Mumbai.. Pretty bugged out here.. Workz been fun.. But yeah.. I am havin my "off" day at office.. I wanted to come today.. couldn't work pretty much... Am Ram.. CA Final student.. And i don't bother if this one turns out to be a super weird blog entry. .I believe therez always a first time to everythingand I am proud to openly accept this one sucks majorly.. I ain't a super goo writer.. But I ain't too bad either... Anyways.. This is a formal announcement of Mr. Ram's entry into blogger.com.. Am in... hoo hoo...