North East West South

Reporter: Bill Clinton's Dog had a heart surgery done today..
The entire country (The US of course.. Who else could do somethin like this?) seems to have gathered outside the hospital to show their support...
Its a spectacle to watch.. We have a supporter here waiting to talk to us.. Let's get a word from her..

Reporter: So how have things been?? Had breakfast??

Supporter: Bow wow.. Bow bow bow..

Reporter : That was Julia from New York...
With camera person Ramprashanth [;)], Nidheesha for Sidelines Today.. Over to you Sandhya

Anchor (Sandhya): Thank you Nidhi... That was the breaking news coming from New York.. We'll be following that story all day for you... We'll slip into a small break now.. (Touch up time!!)

That's a news channel stereo-type... I watch these channels especially for the Sandhya(s) and Nidheesha(s) who make the news footage a pleasantry to watch, no matter what they report on... I don't quite get the content though... err.. excuse me... do they even have content?? Or is it just gas most of the time?? Look deeper... Wait a minute.. Mom's come.. Channel changed

FTV Exclusive (It expands as Future Television and it's a news channel for God's sake!!)

Anchor(Some guy...!! Who cares??): Famous actor XYZ is arrested by police for assault on a co-passenger who allegedly ate up the Vada Pav [:P] which was served exclusively for him in the flight (I totally empathise.. That was quite a violation of human rights.. I meant, by the one who ate it up )... He will be presented before the magistrate.. blah blah blah(over the top).. Stay with us as we analyse this story for you with our expert panelists after the break.. This is an FTV exclusive...

Among the panelists was Mr. Kishore who studied with XYZ in his 1st standard..

Kishore: I know him very well.. He has attacked me on my nose for a piece of butter biscuit I took from him during out interval period.. He is a very bad boy.. He would have done it.. He should be hung to death (Now that was quite a verdict!!.. Son.. You are not in Riyadh)

Dad's come... "Hi Appa... Ok.. I'll go and study in fifteen mins"... He dumps his laptop on the sofa.. Clutches the remote..Channel Changed...

Profit and Loss TV

Anchor:

The Markets seem to be oversold (*OMG!! I have already lost my 2 months' grocery*),

However, the sugar stocks are expected to recover sooner than the others(*Holy Mother!!..How i wish they actually do... I am long on those * [:P])..

A Bull run is highly unlikely in the coming few weeks (All those buggers who haven't sold yet are SO SO DEAD!!)

However the markets look bullish in the long run (*you guys bloody well start buying.. I am lookin at offloading mine*)

In a fundamentally strong market like India, both "Bulls" and "Bears" make money.. Its only the "greedy pigs" who burn their fingers (*Bull crap!!.. Air the ad man.. I have run outa script*)

Dad gets bugged.. "Seri da.. Indha.. Jetix podu..." (Ok... change to Jetix.. [:P])

KEY

(In case am too smart for ya [:P])

1. Within(*... *): The Anchor's thinking
2. Within(....) : My Comments

Myths of CA unravelled

First of all... I am a student myself and I ain't taking any sides here. The students who take this monstrous examination( call it CA final, inter, whatever...) carry with them more myths than materials ( sorry if it sounds like an article in "Hindu".. didn't know how else to start)

Ram comes home saying "mom.. the insti has screwed us this time.. They have deliberately made the November paper difficult"... Yeah right!! Get a life.. May could've been no better.. Does the insti even know how to set an easy paper?? Ask Bhim who wrote in May.. He wrote again with you in November( :P) ....

The next really strong deep routed superstition is that, the pass percentages are rigged.. They are rigged indeed.. But in the favor of us (students I mean) A very reliable source revealed that the insti doesn't resort to deliberate chopping of pass percentage and in fact pushes even border marks to a pass... Well.. It kinda does... (dude.. Cut the smirk... but yeah!! I can empathise)

The next stop is "Cost Accounting"... Most students including me, feel costing papers are set as 4 hours papers (4 hours to complete it, for the paper setter I mean.. Ridiculous ain't it??) and you have done remarkably well if you have been able to kiss 80% of the paper... The only problem with Costing papers is that they contain huge questions.. Had you spent a few hours reading Sidney Sheldon or even Chetan Bhagat... Trust me.. Costing could've been easier(My Reliable Source said this)...

Somewhere deep down even I have a fear that some insti official could run into this blog and misconceive this to be something critical about the insti and take it out on my paper :P... Yeah.. I know am being way too confident about the readership for this dumb blog of mine.. The belief that the insti could spank you for even a small spat with the receptionist by feasting on your marks is absolute humbug.. The system for correction is said to be fool proof... No valuer knows whose paper is being corrected.. The fact is that all papers are given dummy numbers... Mixed and sent to different pockets of the country where Intellectuals, who can advice Obama on US recovery correct the papers...

Those were some of the common arguments a CA student places before anyone who confronts him with a (Machan... What happened to the results da??).. I, just like every CA student who's struck hard by a failure find solace in such arguments... But a premier institute like ours who talks professionalism 24X7 would do any of these?? Ask yourself

You guys might like this or despise this... Even find my writing intolerable.. (I ain't Salman Rushdie after all).. But trust you could all relate to this.. Todally....